Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
