if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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