Cold hands, warm shart.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
