also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
