At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
