did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
