i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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