never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
