when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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