Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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