I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
