I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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