who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
