Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
