Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
