I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
