I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
