is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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