The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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