i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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