my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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