I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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