why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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