so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
