Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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