I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
