sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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