My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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