Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
