Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
