Your face is a jimmy john
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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