bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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