We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
