Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
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