I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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