Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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