saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
