Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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