I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
