your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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