dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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