at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
