More tranny stories later!
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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