She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
