So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
