pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
