just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
