Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
