Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
