I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
