OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
