I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
