Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
