a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
