First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
